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" You are just too much"

Updated: Nov 4, 2020

I think one of my biggest pet peeves is when people say “ that persons a lot”

Usually it’s being said from a place of negativity in terms of you just can’t handle that person or what they represent

But something I’ve learned is that usually those people who would be considered a lot are for 2 reasons.

1. They have been through a lot of hardships and haven’t quit learned the tools or gotten the help they need to process it

2. They are irrevocably passionate about life and on a mission

Both are valid and both need to be accepted.

Most of the time if someone is “a lot” it’s exposing something in us we lack...

Patience, drive, understanding, unfamiliarity, boldness, etc.

I often I ask myself these questions ...

Are they a lot of just passionate and convicted

Are they a lot or just on a mission

Are they a lot or just brave enough to supersede mundane social norms

Are they a lot or are they exposing something I fall short in

Are they a lot or do they just do things differently then me therefore it’s unfamiliar

Are they a lot or are they just consistent, committed and focused

Are they a lot or are they just trying to figure things out how to do life to their best of their ability and need better tools or guidance

Are they a lot or just very expressive and a verbal processor

At the end of the day that doesn’t make someone too much. Nor does it mean you aren’t enough. It’s important you don’t label people and try to understand you don’t have the whole story to why the way they are and more importantly it might work for them

No one tells the Olympic athlete who trains 5 hours a day they are too much and no one tells the single mom of 5 who hasn’t showered in a week she’s not enough.

So the next time you want to write someone off for being " too much" ask yourself these questions and try to look at them from another angle.

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