The F Word
I remember 3 years ago at a course in Seattle sitting with some other colleagues at a restaurant waiting to order.
One of my colleagues burst out “this weekend course is going to be so fun!!”
I shuttered and turned the other way.
My colleague noticed right away, looked at me and said “what was that?“
I replied, “what was what?”
Being very aware of my body language she replied “you shook to what I just said, ‘ this weekend is going to be fun’ ”
I shook again, there was that word...Being the professional intuitive she was at the time she stopped- “oh my, you don’t like the word FUN”.
I almost gagged on my water when she said that F word again... I could feel my defences going up, my body curling up, heart racing...
She continued...“wow you are triggered by the word fun, you are actually having a stress response around it”
- I tried to deny it. “ NO... it’s the water, it tastes gross here...”She said it again to prove her point..”F-U-N”
At this point I was ready to punch her in the face as I was full on in protective mode. 😂
Looking back and through my extensive training, I now know I was being triggered by a word deep in my subconscious sending my body into an autonomic response.
Thankfully through my studies and the help of my colleague, I realized I had a series of events and experiences in my early twenties that taught me “FUN was impractical, caused harm, long term discomfort and regret” -Thus everytime I heard the word “fun” my body would reject the idea and go into a flight or flight response in order to protect myself using the belief that “fun was unsafe to me”.
After my own InnerMInd sessions, I had the ability to choose new experiences around the concept of fun. I now have no problem saying or experiencing that F word. FUN.
I see this all the time with clients. All it takes is a word and they are triggered. All kinds of emotions are brought to the surface, their body reacts, and before they know it they are acting out in unwanted behaviour to protect themselves from this perceived threat. Does this sound familiar? This is one of the many things I help clients work through using a variety of techniques I’ve learned.